Confessions of a mom...

I hate those days when I second guess why I decided to have children. Go ahead say it, you are thinking I am a horrible mom. But I am just being real. Today has been rough. Josh has been gone since 5am and won't be home for a couple more hours (it is about 8pm right now). As I am typing I am being interrupted by my middle son who knows every single button to push. I love him and that will never change, but some days, some days I just don't know what to do.

It starts with him not listening to simple rules and then escalates into a huge tantrum. Tonight we had a tantrum, still on going, lasting well over an hour. It is draining. I spend my time not giving in so he understands he doesn't get his way when he throws a fit. Sometimes I just want to run away!!!

Then the thoughts of, "What am I doing wrong?" Am I really that bad of a mom that I can't handle my own child? Then I become that mom I don't want to be, the one who yells and loses control of the situation.

My oldest son is the complete opposite. Not that he doesn't get in trouble because he does have his moments, but NOTHING like what I am dealing with now. I have heard it's a phase, he'll grow out of it, this has been going on since before he was two and he will be four in March. Please tell me this is coming to an end, soon!

On a lighter note, at dinner tonight my oldest finished his dinner and got to have a cookie and milk. My youngest son, who is going to be two in February, saw his brother get a cookie and started eating everything on his plate. In between them eating I was dealing with another tantrum, so I was a bit distracted, but came back to the table and my youngest had cleaned his plate. He got a cookie. Finally I am feeling like I am doing something right, got a good meal in them anyway. As everyone finished and left the table I began to pick up and moved the babies booster seat to find the majority of his chicken shoved underneath! He sure fooled me, but he got that cookie! I'll be watching closer next time. LOVE.